literature

I'll Always Remember

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B-U-Ts's avatar
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Literature Text

Sometimes I worry, I'm forgetting your face
Or that the memories, will go to waste
But it's moments like this, that I push away
Can't stand the thought of, my life changing again

I look at photos, because I can't recall
The look of your eyes, or, their color at all
I can't remember, if they're grey or blue
Is my mind lying, or is it telling the truth

So, I remind myself every morning, of the way that you were
I remember how you'd drive and, the color of your car
I won't forget how, our days were spent
Or, the way the day felt on, the morning you went
I will remember
I'll always remember
That you were my friend
And even though life might
Our friendship won't end

People may question, why I care so much
You were my best friend, and you meant a lot
On the days I felt weak, yeah, you were my crutch
And now that you're gone, I miss you a lot

When people ask me, what happened to you
I'd prefer not to answer, not to remember what's true
I'd like to pretend that I'm happy, and you're still here too
But I remember the end, to, remember all the way through

So, I remind myself every morning, of the way that you were
I remember how you'd drive and, the color of your car
I won't forget how, our days were spent
Or, the way the day felt on, the morning you went
I will remember
I'll always remember
That you were my friend
And even though life might
Our friendship won't end

What we had in common, was a list without end
And I'll never forget you, I won't forget you my friend
Everything good, it all has to end
But I'll never forget you, I won't forget you my friend

So, I remind myself every morning, of the way that you were
I remember how you'd drive and, the color of your car
I won't forget how, our days were spent
Or, the way the day felt on, the morning you went
I will remember
I'll always remember
That you were my friend
And even though life might
Our friendship won't end

There was a time when, life was easy
When I see people still there, I'm filled with envy
I can't believe now, that it's just me
At least that I know you're, eternally free

I miss my friend and, the way that we worked
So it makes sense that, inside I still hurt
To fully remember, I must accept first
That you're gone for good and, that part's the worst

I'll always remember
That you were my friend
And even though life might
Our friendship won't end
-
© 2011 - 2024 B-U-Ts
Comments13
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RollingTomorrow's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

Thank you for submitting to the Critique Folder at <img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/w/r/w…" alt=":iconwriters--club:" title="Writers--club"/>! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/l/l…" width="19" height="19" alt=":la:" title="La la la la"/>

The lyrical aspects of this piece were well handled! The repetition of the important stanzas added to overall feeling of song lyrics, and you did a good job with picking your stanzas to repeat.

This piece flowed well, but some of your rhymes or similar expressions sounded a bit forced. The repetition of "lot" in the forth stanza instead of a different but still rhyming word sounded a bit rough, and some of the closing lines of the stanzas didn't seem to flow as well as their preceding lines.

Nevertheless, good work! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)"/>


=TheFinalHikari
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